I'm learning to trust God again. I had walked away from Him, but I know that I'm struggling more because I'm not allowing Him in my life. I want to change that. I am a stubborn person and I don't like getting help from others. I think I can do everything by myself, but then I get overwhelmed. I shut down and don't accomplish a single thing. I need God's help.
On a whim tonight, I looked up Hope in Wikipedia. There was a reference to Hebrews 6:19. So I busted out my bible (for the first time in a long time) to see what it had to say.
Just in case you don't have a bible handy, here's what Hebrew 6:16-19 says:
Men swear by someone greater than themselves, and the oath confirms what is said and puts an end to all argument. Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.
So, I'm going to continue to Hold on Hope and trust in God.
Unchanging. Unchangeable. That's what sticks out to me in those verses... because I often need reminding that in spite of the fact that I wander so much, forget Him so much, ignore Him so much, and doubt all that we've heard about Him so much... that doesn't change him in the slightest. So I can either choose to keep wallowing in my own wishy-washy-ness... or decide that He's Him and he chose to love me so that means he still does.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to say, dear friend, that I know how you feel. Or maybe I should say, I think I do.. or I can sympathize... because I honestly can't say I know how I feel... just that for a while something has been 'off'.
That sermon really did help me, but I'm sure it hasn't fixed anything. But I'm realizing now that circumstances and situations life gives us (happy or sad) can't make or break us, and won't. Lately I've been in perfectly great situations, but just allowed myself to get sad and frustrated and feeling completely worthless and full of self-pity over how useless I am... and then I ruin those situations.
(I think I'm learning that that's a thing Satan has over me--lying to me. I've believed the lies for a long time. worthlessness. self-pity. not-good-enough. embarrassment).
Wouldn't it be great if the Christian church as a whole acknowledged MORE the fact that we are all pretty sucky all the time, just trying to be good... instead of emphasizing all these things we should DO and not DO, which ultimately leave people feeling like they probably don't belong.. you know?
whoa, i think before 6:00a.m. writing makes me ramble. But we should probably talk. it's been way too long.